BDSM Tips & Techniques #1

It’s summer, we’ve been home a long time! We’ve experimented with sex toys, new lube and perhaps an intimate massage for two…now what? Why not experiment with a little BDSM play? You know you want to, so let’s make this your summer project!

This could be your first time or your 20th time of trying to play BDSM style…we believe there’s always opportunity to learn and try something new. With social and physical distancing practices in place, we can’t go out to a kinky party right now but there are ways to experiment alone or with your partner. Try reading erotic BDSM fiction or watch  porn with a kinky edge. Use your imagination, role play with your partner and dress the part. Remember take these with a grain of salt because often portrayals of the BDSM community are often inaccurate and when you venture out into the world (some day) you might find the reality a little different but for now, fantasy is a good thing.

Myths about the BDSM Community

BDSM is the same thing as violence & abuse

Abuse/ violence should never be tolerated in any situation. Some BDSM activities may look violent for example bondage, slapping or flogging and if you see them out of erotic context…we get it, it might seem very upsetting. But they are consensual activities between adults who derive pleasure & have the power to stop the scene at any time.

If you had a satisfying sex life, your partner wouldn’t want to try anything kinky

Simply not true, your tastes vary over time. Do you wear the same outfit every day? Do you eat at the same restaurant every time you go out? Most of us don’t so why would our sex life be any different?

Bottoms or a submissive must have low self-esteem

In fact, it is simply a way to let go and sink into the pleasure of it all. Someone else is making the decisions. There is a freedom in letting go.

Tops or Doms are sociopaths who have intimacy issues

It is a way to feel in control and hey don’t we all need that sometimes? It is a way to feel like the boss. There is pleasure in being so skilled in their dominance.

If you enjoy pain, something is wrong with you

When people experience pain adrenaline, endorphins and natural painkillers flood their nervous systems and this can be quite the rush.  It can feel energizing even uplifting.

Kinky desires are not normal 

Kink is just part of a broad spectrum of desires. There is no need to morally judge someone else for their sexual activity. Just be open and willing to experience something a little different and we think you might just be surprised.

Are you interested to try something new? If so, stay tuned all month for more tips and techniques. Follow us on Twitter,  Instagram and Facebook. Check in weekly for a new blog post.  If you are interested in more information or have more questions you can always Ask Pam. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for instructional videos. Sign up for our newsletter to receive tips, sale notifications and product features.