BDSM Tips

It is summer and it is time to play, time to have fun and definitely time to rev up your sex life! BDSM play ticks all those sexy boxes. Quick background, what does BDSM actually stand for? B is for Bondage. D is Domination. S is for Sadism and M is for Masochism. You might know BDSM as S & M or slightly for currently SM…all are valid…BDSM is just a little more encompassing. There is a lot of psychology behind those words and you should definitely dig a little deeper because there is a whole community behind this movement. Tons of intelligent, supportive folk that will help you along this journey if you are intrigued.

What do I do with a Blindfold?

But let’s assume that might just have a few questions about what do I do with a blindfold? I have this rope how do I use it? What does impact play mean and how exactly do I participate? As with anything new in your sex life, you’d better have a little discussion first. Consent is important. It is important, if you feel like these ideas are coming out of left field for your partner, that be discussed way ahead of time. Do not spring this idea in the middle of foreplay. Discuss in a non sexual context, feel them out, say your intrigued, read a book, show an article like this one. Watch a video on YouTube. There are lots of ways to introduce a subject that might not come up in your everyday conversation. 

Once you’ve had the discussion and everyone is onboard with trying a little sensory deprivation or bondage…now what? You’ve got a lovely little blindfold, who’s going to wear it? Are you taking turns? Have you chosen your safe word? So when you no longer have sight, thanks to that sexy blindfold, your other senses will kick in. Touch, taste, hearing, sense are all now amplified. When your partner is blindfolded remember to describe what you are doing. Also check in once in awhile. Kiss and caress your partner in unexpected places, make sure they like it and continue. You could try role playing, with the blindfold in place. Try different stimulus, like a feather, or pastry wheel. 

To Bond or not to Bond?

Next in your new sexy repertoire is a restraint system. There are many variations. You can find Vegan friendly restraints or soft and supple leather kits. Lots of online video to help you exactly how to tie your partner up. Start slow, you do not have to be a rope master to try a little restraint play. You can use ties, soft rope or purchase a whole kit, These are sometimes easier because they have velcro or buckles for ease of use. Remember, they should feel comfortable and you shouldn’t be restrained for too long…you do not want to cut off circulation! When your partner is tied up, describe in detail what is going to happen. Anticipation is an aphrodisiac! You can try sensory things like a feather or ice cube or you could introduce a sex toy into the mix, try a little vibrator for external stimulation…the combination of the vibrations and bondage will create intense orgasms!

Impact Play

You might want to try a Vegan friendly crop or a leather flogger in another session. Remember, you’re not trying to hurt your partner. You’re just adding an intense sensation. You can include role play here. You are creating a mood. Impact play could simply be spanking your partner. Rub your partner’s bottom, this will signal something intense is about to happen. Start gentle, work your way up, watch the body language and listen for their safe word. If they use it, stop immediately. Otherwise, you’ve broken their trust. This can be extremely erotic but it is intense, so pay attention. If this intrigues you, there are workshops to attend, videos to watch and books to read…Once your session is complete be loving with one another, be attentive. Check in again, ask questions. 

Remember to also discuss later. Consent is a must. Do your research. Go slow, work your way into this new experience and always check in with one another. If you follow these tips, you’re sure to have a sensual experience like no other.