How do I give the best massage

A massage can release tension, a massage can help regulate blood pressure and boost your immune system. And when done right, an at-home massage has major fringe benefits for you and your partner.


Set the mood

Light candles, play music – fragrance and music can really alter an environment. You can think of this massage as foreplay, depending on the length or simply make it the experience of the night. Use good quality natural massage oil for maximum glide.

Remember this massage is not a sports massage. Don’t press too hard.  Especially as you begin, gently caress the body. No grimacing here! Remember you’re setting a mood.

Use slow even strokes with the palm of your hand. Work your way into the massage. If you are massaging arms and legs; massage towards the body.


Ask Questions

Be aware of how your partner is responding to your touch. Ask questions; make sure that they are enjoying it. Start slowly, working the muscles. Don’t put pressure on the spine or other joints.

Shoulders seem to be an area where we hold most of our tension, so they can take a little more pressure. If your hands are tired consider using your forearms. If your partner is sitting, place your right forearm on their right shoulder, palm facing up. Rest your left hand on their left shoulder. Then use your body weight to press down on your forearm while rotating it in toward their neck. Repeat on the other side. Always repeat your technique on the other side. Another easy massage tip, use a tennis ball to roll over your partner’s shoulders. Save your energy for later!


New erogenous zones

If you’ve ever had a scalp massage at a salon,you know how good it can feel. Brace your thumbs near the top or back of her head and rotate your fingertips in small circles on the scalp, moving slowly from the forehead to the back of the head. When you’re done with the scalp, position your thumbs at the hairline in the middle of the forehead. From here you can use your fingers to rub the temples and also the jaw.

If you don’t have enough time to devote to an overall body massage …then paying attention to their hands and feet can reward you both. Hold their hand in your hands, with your thumbs on top. Apply pressure to their palms with your fingertips and slowly pull down. Do the same to each finger, but don’t pop the knuckles. Then take one foot in both hands so your thumbs are on the bottom of their foot. Squeeze and slide your hands from the ball to the heel. Criss-cross or circle the thumbs up and down the sole. Repeat technique on the other hand and foot.


Be even more intimate

The Lower back is where we can get really intimate. We tend to be a little more sensitive here, so keep this in mind when applying pressure. While straddling them, position one hand on their lower back muscle, with fingers pointing away from his spine. Place your other hand on top of the first hand. Use your body weight to push down slowly, pressing the heels of your hands into the muscle like you’re pushing it away from their spine. Try one hand on either side of the spine; rock back and forth. If they have trouble lying on their stomach, place a pillow under their hips to ease the pressure. Go a little lower, yes go for it; massage their butt…always be aware of how they are responding. Think of this as exploratory; you can tease the anus or not. But for this experience think of it as relaxing and intimate.

When you are feeling like you want to take this sensuous experience to the next level be sure and gently stroke your partner all over. Turn them over. Place a pillow underneath the lower back. Pay particular attention to any truly sensitive spot and see where it leads you.


Key Points:

  • Massage can ease tension.
  • Set the tone of your massage.
  • Use a quality natural massage oil.
  • Use slow gentle strokes to start.
  • Go to massage spots, shoulders, scalp, hands, feet & lower back.
  • Always listen and be responsive.


* Massage can aggravate pre-existing conditions, even an intimate couple’s massage. As always, if you have any health concerns; have a chat with your doctor or registered massage therapist.

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