Our Interview with Rebecca Rosenblat, Sex Educator

Rebecca Rosenblat is a Registered Psychotherapist, Certified Sex Addiction & Trauma Counselor, Sex Therapist, and Life Coach, critically acclaimed as one of Canada’s leading relationship & sexuality experts. We asked her a few questions about her career.

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Q: What did you have to study or learn to get into this field?

A: I trained through various accredited programs to get a good grasp on attachment and sexuality, their various expressions, related trauma and issues, and ultimately different ways of treating those.

Q: What led you to choose this career path?

A: I was working at CAMH (Centre for Addiction and Mental Health) with patients suffering from schizophrenia and mood disorders, and doing research to help those with down’s syndrome, all of which broke my heart every day. I decided to go into couple’s work because I knew it was possible to treat relationships, versus just “managing” them. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I had to be proficient in sex therapy as well, since it’s the ultimate body language where a lot of dynamics play out. Eventually, I added individual and childhood trauma work, since that’s where things often start!

Q: Why do you believe your work is important?

A: I feel attachment and sexuality are primary instincts – basic human imperatives – which can be the source of great joy or unbearable pain. Since it’s possible to bring couples from the latter to the former, I can’t imagine a more rewarding job. I think I experience as much joy as my clients do when I see that transformation – and what an honour it is to have someone let you into the most intimate parts of their lives, so you can help heal their wounds and insecurities, and usher them into a life they never thought possible.

Q: Who are (or were) some of your biggest influences?

A:  Other than icons who did the initial groundwork (like Dr. Bowlby, Masters & Johnson, Carl Jung), Dr. Sue Johnson for Emotionally Focused Therapy inspired me to study issues of attachment, and I was greatly influenced by Sue Johanson and her work bringing sexuality out of the closet – and no, they’re not the same person!

Q: What, if anything, has surprised you most, working the field you’re in?

A: I am most surprised by the horrible things that humans can do to each other, to destroy something that’s destined to be so beautiful. I do a lot of trauma work, so I have a front row seat to all that – humans causing other humans intolerable pain.

Q: What have you learned from this experience, how has it changed you?

A: I’ve learned to never take my relationships for granted, and I ask myself each day if I gave my best to those who I had the privilege of seeing that day – family, friends, clients, strangers. If I ever feel I didn’t give my best or do right by someone, I immediately try my best to fix it, and of course learn from it.

Q: What is your favourite piece of advice for people?

A: Cliché as it is, my advice is “Do unto others as you’d have them do to you”.  Put yourself in their shoes and see how you’d feel if they were to do that to you. In relationships, it’s about BEING a better partner, versus expecting your partner to become the person you’re trying to change them into. I often ask my clients, would you want to date/marry you? Who we are, how we treat others, the decisions we make every moment of every day, are all choices, not uncontrolled emotions.

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Rebecca has reached millions as a host of multiple radio and television shows, as author of 7 books and hundreds of advice columns and articles and as a workshop leader and keynote speaker at hundreds of events. Beyond that, she’s a clinical associate and private practitioner in the Toronto area, dedicated to helping individuals and couples heal and grow.

To learn more about Rebecca, visit www.talkwithrebecca.com or visit her YouTube channel.