Sex & University: What You Need to Know

You are a few weeks in now. First time away from home and wow, you might just be 18 or 19 years old. I know, I know, you feel like you know a lot and then in a flash…you feel like what the hell am I doing here?! Most of us have been there, so keep in mind you are not alone. You might feel some fear, some trepidation, you might feel bursting with confidence and ready for every experience that university or college has to offer. Whatever place you are in, it is your place and your experience.

Lots of Sex!!!

There are expectations at university to have sex and lots of it! You can find Reddit questions just full of questions like, how much is too much? How much sex should I have at university? We get it, hormones are flowing, you want to experiment and try new stuff, perhaps have more fulfilling sex? Your University days, your 20’s are truly a time to get to know yourself, discover who you are and name your wants, desires and just create memories and experiences that you will treasure for the rest of your life.

It can also be a time and place where you feel all kinds of pressure. Deadlines and expectations as a student, less help from Professors or at least expectations, that if you need help…you are responsible and have to seek it out. It may not always feel like it but these are some of the best parts of being an adult. When it comes to sex, your partners may have expectations that you have more experience, confidence and some of you do…some of you don’t. But guess what, sex like everything else is something we get better at the more we do it, the more we learn and discover ourselves.

Consent is Essential

Consent is something we should be taught in our schools and by our parents. Unfortunately that is not the case for all of us. We have a difficult time saying no, we avoid confrontation, we ghost our friends. We’ll do anything to not say no! So when someone official just says it’s easy just say NO…well, turns out it is not so easy. The thing is with consent…it is a funny concept. You might have consented to go out for coffee, doesn’t mean you consented to a kiss good night. You might have consented to the kiss good night, but it doesn’t mean you consented to a slap on the bum. You might have consented to the slap, but you might also just want to change your mind. If this is what you feel then you should be able to say so. You could be right in the moment of almost intercourse and then have second thoughts, just in that moment. Listen to those thoughts. Be as firm as you need to be to stop what is happening in that moment if you need to…

Consent is also another way of communicating. So keep those lines of communication open, all the time, in the moment, after the moment, texting, whatever. Talk to each other, regroup if you need to and also don’t hesitate to simply take a break. Listen to your instinct, if something feels wrong, then it probably is…if you’ve decided yes, I want to have sex. Super. Remember you can decide something else at any time.

Use Protection

But if it is yes, let’s have sex; there are a few things you should know. Use condoms. There are excellent choices these days. Tons of information online to learn how best to use a condom. Essentially a condom when used properly is about 99% effective. They are excellent for preventing STI’s and of course pregnancy. Check the expiry date on the condom packet, don’t keep them in your pocket! Lubricant is your friend. Nerves, energy, alcohol for example can affect your natural lubrication, so keep a little bottle of lube handy so your sex experience can be even more enjoyable. Most importantly talk to one another before, during and after. You will begin to discover what your partner likes and if you let them know what you like…you are going to be sex rock stars!

If you are interested in more information or have more questions you can always Ask Pam. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for instructional videos.